Tuesday

We are back from meditation. Master's lecture went well. I woke him up this morning before I left and I was a little late for school. His lecture was in the late morning so he had to get up in time and did not have time to get too nervous. It was my usual day. I had switched off my phone during school and actually forgot to switch it on again to call Master to see how his lecture went.

He dragged me into a room before meditation and we made out. We were late for the session, but they had waited for us! Oh, how embarrassing.

A quiet day at home

Master woke up while I did yoga and got up. Wow. He voluntarily got up early? He made breakfast. It was soo early! He went to the office, I think he is over prepared. I got on with the house work. Maybe Master did other stuff in the office, watch porn? Chat to other people? I try not to disturb him. I knocked from time to time to give him a drink. I went to walk Django. I did not take him home to us, I was not sure if Master would be ok with it. In the afternoon I took Master for a walk. He needed a break! I offered he can practice on me, but he did not want to. He did so well last year, why does he suddenly have stage fright?

We have nearly the last of the wood on the fire. It has been nice to have the fire almost every night. At the flat we did not have the opportunity to do it so often as we had to get the wood upstairs.

Master has organised a delivery for some time this week. Tonight we relaxed, we played cards. It was quiet, we did not talk much, just about the card game. I think Master managed to switch off and not think about his lecture. I am sleeping in my own room tonight.

A master/slave relationship

I was tired last night, we had a loong day. It was physically demanding for me. But I enjoyed it, I managed to get into head space during the evening. We had a good exchange of energy. I slept in my room. At one point I woke up as it was quite cold and I fetched another blanket. I only had a short yoga session this morning, but it was good to have it after all the bondage yesterday. I went to wake Master and he pulled me into bed with him. We just had a cuddle and a laugh. I like that. Master showered and I prepared breakfast. I have to clean myself today, so I am in my room biding my time, digesting. He has his first lecture on Tuesday, and wants to prepare. So I have arranged to meet with Ingrid. We are meeting to go to a gallery and then for fika.

So, I am back after spending a few hours with Ingrid. She is very happy with the accountant! I am happy for her. Master was happy to see me, he had gotten a lot of work done. We enjoyed having a chat. We had had a good lunch and we had some soup for dinner with some of my homemade bread. Master put a fire on. We watched a film on tv. I sat on the sofa and Master had his feet in my lap. I enjoyed massaging them and playing with his toes. He got quite aroused. Somehow his trousers came off and my mouth was on his penis. God, I love to blow him! He enjoys it so much!

I am sleeping in the cage tonight. Master wants me to. He has enforced himself lately, not only with the bondage, mostly that is for my benefit anyway. It is good, I feel I have boundaries and rules and it makes me feel secure.

Saturday in the playroom

We took a taxi to the club last night, and for going home. Although we have the coat on, gloves, scarf, hat, Master did not want to expose us to comments or looks. I have these lovely lined leather trousers, they are really warm, but keep me at a nice temperature inside, in the warmth. I had a harness over my shirt, and a wider leather collar and restraints around my wrists. I have not been this trussed up for M/s night for a while! It was a good evening. It was not that busy, I think a few people who travel from the country were not there and even some local ones. I can understand that, in this weather one does not want to come out. But it was the first M/S night at the new premises! It was nice to see some people and have a catch up. Sven was teased a little as he turned up on his own, but he says his new boyfriend is just not ready yet to be presented as he is new to the scene.

Master came with me to do some shopping. The market was pretty empty of stalls. They should just not do it in winter. But I guess the people need the income. He gave the gym a miss as he has been 3 times this week. I cooked lunch while he read the paper. I did some more homework after lunch. Master suggested a session in the playroom. I happily agreed. He had obviously planned it, as it was nice and warm in there. We have stopped now, Master is preparing some dinner. He has warned me we will continue. Wow. I will need my shake! For some reason I have not been able to switch off and get into the head space. It has been good, and Owe is in the right mind. I guess I am able to “pretend”, as he is in a good mood.

Friday, busy

I awaited Master in my collar last night. It was not so successful. He was again quite wired and hungry. So I had to switch mode quickly and make him dinner and a drink. He was chatty and I just sat and listened. The thing is, one cannot pretend to listen to him. I have to listen. He picks up on that very easily. He is much more perceptive than he comes across at first. I guess that is why we are such a good match, he notices my moods easily and manages me well. I guess I have grown to actually rely on the people closest to me to manage me, instead of managing myself. But I never noticed really when it started. I noticed the people around me treat me differently. It took me quite some time to learn when I was getting stressed. And the techniques to keep it under control, or once I have lost control, to reign myself back in. Most of the time I need help once I have lost it. I have never really had professional help, we had friends and colleagues who were professionals and gave us tips. We have never considered medication, we never thought it was necessary. I think we are managing well here. Owe and me. Thanks to Ingrid I have learned more about me and my -episodes.

Well, I slept in the cage again. I kind of noticed Master come to bed, he did not want to switch the light on and was fumbling around. I got up at my usual time and did yoga in my room. I woke Master with our routine, it was nice. It sounds as if it was just ok, I meant it was very good.

I enjoyed being close to him and he enjoyed it, too. We had breakfast and went to the gym together. Master stayed on to go to the sauna. I came home via the supermarket, picked up Django and then made lunch. I took Django out before going to yoga. Master took him home later. He did some studying and the short walk and fresh air was good for him. I met with Sabine after yoga. We have not had much time lately, and we had a good time at the Centre. I lost track of time and was late home. Master was annoyed with me. He accepted my apology and explained to me he just gets a bit nervous that I am safe. I find Stockholm to be a very safe town, certainly our part of town! I always use the bus to come home from the train station when it is dark, and at the moment it is so cold! Maybe there is something I do not know. Some weirdos contacted Robert when we did the porn and asked to have sex with me. There was a time when I was not allowed to go out by myself at all. There were some hushed conversations in Robert's office. I still wish they had told me what was going on, I had the self defence training! Then it stopped, I was allowed more freedom. So I think I had a stalker or person who had found out where we lived or had made threats. But what happened for it to finish? I know Master worries about that as well, but then we have quite a high profile. And we have given details away about where we live, so someone determined could find me.

Anyway, it is M/S night tonight, the first one at the club. It feels strange, we have been there so much this month already! Do I want to go out tonight, in this cold weather? No. But we have an obligation to be there. And in the end I will enjoy it. Master often feels the same. He has determined what I am to wear.

A day by myself

It is quite late, I am in my room again, waiting for Master to come home from work. I slept in my room last night as Master was going to stay up and I wanted to go to bed to be rested for school. He was a bit hyper. He had had a good day. I stayed in town to have a packed lunch. I read my book, I wanted to relax. Then I had yoga and we went for a drink, as usual. Sabine has a class to teach on Thursday evenings, so sadly did not have time. I called P/L, but they had plans! So I came home. I needed to eat and have a shake anyway. I have started some of my homework. I started watching a programme we usually watch together, but it did not feel right. We have had such an intense time together lately, I have to get used to being more on my own again. In SR I was rarely on my own. Even if we were just 2 people in the house, each doing their own thing, or in the yard. Here I am on my own, and although I am quite content, it is something I have to learn again.

Dadida

I find school very hard, but it is a good challenge. I met with Ingrid for a snack, she had classes as well. I asked her maybe I should have done a class on a lower level. She challenged me, she said are you really struggling? No. I guess I am just putting myself under pressure to be an A student, which I do not achieve. I think I am already thinking about what to do after the summer, when I have no classes and Master will be working.

Otherwise it was a normal day. Master went to the University today to experience a lecture. We met for meditation. We did not have time for some private time, so we had a nice chat on the way home.

It was very cold today and it was nice to come to a warm house. I slept in the cage in Master's room, my room gets quite cold at night as it is at the end of the house and has so many outside walls.

When I woke up this morning I enjoyed the sensation of waking up in the cage. Funny, I never slept in a cage in SR, but I really adapted to this one quickly.

Master and I went to the gym and then we had lunch at home. He then had a shift at the health centre. I have done some homework and extra studying. My head is spinning!

I did some baking and ironing, and am now in my room. I do not like being in the living room by myself. It is not the ghost or bad vibes, it is just a big room. Although we have curtains in front of the windows, which is essential in winter. I just find it a bit lonely.

I am going to have some food ready for Master when he comes home and a hot drink. I look forward to having a catch up with him.

Feeling content

Today we mostly stayed at home, I did washing. Master Owe does not like to use a dryer, so it is hanging in the garage, utility room and upstairs to dry. I have changed all our bedding. I have done some studying, while Master was upstairs doing his work. His old boss phoned to ask if he can work over Easter. We were just sitting together for a morning coffee, and Master was about to say no as Ruth will be here, but I indicated to him he should say yes. So we talked a bit about what we are going to do while she is here. Master has organised the upgrade for her flight, we have split the cost. He is more approachable about me paying for stuff, I think having no income made him realise how expensive life is. He has also agreed to do some shifts at the health centre again. He enjoys working there. It has been a busy day today on the phone, Master has organised all his dates at the University. Stine phoned to ask if I can help with Django, their boy has some extra school stuff going on. It will be good to have some regular days with Django again. I feel very content today.

Bondage sunday

Only a short entry today, I am tired. Master and I had a serious session in the play room. He had it all planned and the gear ready. I thought he had a funny look on his face on Friday, he must have prepared it all then! It was good for both of us.
Today is the anniversary of Lizzie's death. Master had remembered and when I suggested I wanted to light a candle for her he readily came to a local church with me. Our local Catholic Church is quite away, so it is quite a walk. We went for when the service was finished. I cooked lunch, Master was a bit hesitant to eat a lot, and he hinted to me I should split my food intake to smaller meals today. I was really hungry but I obeyed, and it was good that I did.

We had a very good session. It was several parts, and we used lots of gear. Wow. It was mostly non sexual. Very nice. Tonight I was in the cage, I even ate in the cage. Master only let me out when it was time to go to bed, but I am- obviously- allowed to write my dairy.

A busy start to the weekend

Well, I guess I should catch up with yesterday. I had difficulties choosing a film. I do not mind going to an action movie at the cinema, but not on the small screen. I do not have any particular tastes, I'm pretty mainstream. My teacher saw me standing in front of the shelf with the DVDs and she came over. I told her of my situation and she had a look through the rack and gave me some suggestions. One was a Swedish film, so I picked that and a Hollywood romcom. Owe was preparing me a smoothie when I came home. Is he psychic now as well? He had timed it so well! He said he had fancied one and made more. He has studied a lot this week and had spend the afternoon just lounging around. Apparently. We had a catch up and he checked my DVDs. He was very pleased with the Swedish film, he said he had heard good things about it when it was in the cinema but did not manage to see it. I tidied my stuff away and then cooked dinner. He made a fire, we have one almost every evening.

We both enjoyed the film very much, I had no problem following it. It does surprise me how quickly I have picked up the language. Most of my classmates have been here for about 2 years longer than me and we are probably on the same level. But I am quite glad I do not intend to study, that would be too difficult. Owe stayed up a bit longer after the film was finished, I went to bed. It occurred to me last night that it is very strange, we are a couple but we sleep apart.

But it made this morning more special, we had our routine. I put my collar on, I have not done that for quite some time. Master enjoyed it, I had it on all the time. He left me sitting in his room until he had showered and gotten dressed, then I was allowed to get ready. But he made breakfast! I like it when he takes charge and surprises me with little scenarios. It keeps it exciting and me on my toes (not literally).

He went to the gym and sauna and I did the shopping. We met back at home and I cooked lunch while he read the paper. Stephan phoned to say he had lots of photos from the opening night and our home movie, Master arranged to meet him at the Club so Martin could be involved. After lunch we both read a bit and then we went to the club. The staff were still setting up. It looks so different during the day. I am quite proud of what Master and Martin have achieved. So far most comments have been very complimentary. The staff like it too. The place is at least double the size! And then we have the outside still to do!

There were some great photos, we had a good catch up with Stephan.

Then we had to go to the show of Kristoffer's girl friend. It was in a theatre in the city centre. We had a snack before in town. I think the waitress was annoyed we only had a small meal, as it meant she does not earn as much? She tried very hard to upsell. I hate that. That is what I like about Diners in the States, they are straight forward eating places. When I was on the road with Robert, we had some very good meals. Of course being on the road had it's difficulties for me, but we managed. I enjoyed being out with Robert. Sometimes we talked, about the news and stuff happening in the world, or what we saw on the roadside, sometimes we were just quiet together. The trucker community are really great, like the Kink community. I guess they are both kind of on the edge of society, so we stick together.

The show was very good. It is interesting who the audience are. Ingrid would have fitted right in. We were dressed “normal”, but we kind of stood out. Although we were not the only gay couple. The others were more in the camp camp. I know they cannot always help themselves to be like that, but I do not like it. Some really emphasize it or put it on. Give me a Leatherman any time!

Well, it is late. I better get some sleep. I had a nice day today.

A nice, normal day after a good night

Master loosely restrained me to the bed, so I could not touch myself. Aah bliss. He is missing it as well. I was able to free myself this morning. It was nice to do yoga, to be able to move. I only did a short session as I do it later, and had a session yesterday.

Master felt much better this morning, his nose is not as blocked any more. No, the opposite. He has sent me out! I met with my class mates to finish our group work. I went to the Centre this morning to give Master some space. They were dubious about letting me help in the kitchen, I assured them I will not spread any germs. It is a different crew, but I know most of them, but the atmosphere is different. As well as they are preparing dishes for the public. I have been to yoga and am now in the library. How do homeless people keep busy all day? And warm in the winter? The library is quite popular for that. Master has asked me to get a DVD for tonight. He is sick of reading. He has to do so much for his course.

a bit of bondage and school

I woke Master, he had a bad night. I think it is as it's worst now, yesterday and today. At least he got on with his course! He finds it more challenging than expected. It is getting back into the mode for learning and revising. I know!

I phoned him during a break from school, he was out for a walk. Good! I had lunch with some classmates and we had some group work to do, we managed to get a lot done before I had to go to yoga. I considered giving it a miss, so we can get finished, but we all have time tomorrow for a couple of hours.

I was torn to stay on after yoga or go home to look after Master. He had sent me a message to say I should stay for the drink. He must be getting psychic as well. He had gone back to bed to sleep it off.

I stocked up on fruit. When I got home he just came out of the shower, the sleep had done him good.

He looked so sexy, but we decided against taking it further. He is still infectious.

The fruit was nice and ripe, I had gone to an arabic fruit shop and managed to get some he had already sorted out. We made a nice smoothie and I froze some.

Tonight we watched some tv, I was in my jacket! He had pulled it nice and tight. We spoke to B and E, and I was still in my jacket. E said he wanted to do it as well! I looked hot in it and it gave him a boner! Him? Master played with me a little and I was hard. When I went to the toilet it was not just urine. It took me a while to be able to go.

Trying to keep healthy

I have met with Ingrid to do some homework and now am at the library. I had lunch with Sabine at the Centre. I am staying away from home so I am not exposed to the germs. Master bought some hand sanitizer and makes sure he keeps anything cold related away from me. I have been very well the last few months and we do not want to jeopardise it. This of course also means no blow job for him in the morning. I think he does not mind. As I said, he makes a terrible patient. I went to the gym first thing this morning, it was between the morning rush and mid morning rush and very quiet. So one of the trainers gave me a free consultation. We actually chatted most of the time. He is having a tough time with his girlfriend. Funny, my female friends from yoga like to talk to me about their relationship troubles. As if we gays have a different insight.

Master is not very hungry and is glad of the fruit smoothies and he had some protein shake. We had a light meal in the late afternoon. My timetable is a bit interrupted, I have to get back on track.

I asked if I could maybe get the straitjacket on, but Master did not even feel up to that! I am in my room, in my cell. That is as much bondage as I am getting at the moment! Poor me!

Tuesday

I am at the centre and have some time to myself. Owe phoned me, he is not coming, he has a full blown cold. Luckily he had the energy to put me into some bondage last night, just against the post in the living room, but it was nice. I am feeling a bit sore today. I enjoyed it, fighting the strain and ache. Master noticed it, but as long as I do not safeword, he will let me get on with it. That is the point of bondage, after all. Or one of them.

It has been my usual day. Oh, I nearly lost my plug today during yoga! I had to wriggle a bit to get it back in. My instructor asked me: What are you doing there?! I replied truthfully, and she just said, well get on with it! It was ok then, and we just continued. As far as I know, no one batted an eyelid. It happens very often that people fart, doing the exercises, so we are quite used to strange bodily things. They all know about my belt.

A quiet day at home

I woke him this morning. It was almost like we hardly know each other and are just discovering things. Owe thoroughly enjoyed himself and I enjoyed that he was fulfilled. Apparently women do not like giving blow jobs? Maybe hetero men do not take care of their cocks? Owe does not shave, but he keeps the hair down, which is nice. I do not like it too bushy. AND it has to be clean. When I was on the truck, I liked to actually have a bowl of warm water and a wash cloth. Not just wipes. Most men enjoyed just that. Getting some intense attention paid to their cock and balls. I had one regular guy, we just spend time together. I washed him and then we lay in his bunk. He liked to tell me about his estranged wife and kids. But he loved being on the road, and his wife did not. So she had left him.

Anyway, Owe and I went shopping, I had a list with staples that I wanted to stock up on. He then had a meeting at the club with all the staff. He wanted me to come, as I had experienced it behind the bar as well, but I was able to excuse myself. I do not think I could have contributed much. I went to see P/L. They look very well! They even have a tan! They are considering a time share! I convinced them to see the accountant and get his advice and look over the details. I am surprised this business model still exists. Well, maybe there are reputable companies out there. We used to go to a camping complex when I was a kid, and we were offered something like that. My father was absolutely against it. It was one of his favorite topics to rant about, actually.

This afternoon Owe has started his course. I am downstairs, preparing for school tomorrow. He is upstairs. He likes to be in the office to do work, or banking stuff or things like that. He says otherwise he gets distracted. He has not been feeling well, he is getting a cold. He is one of these guys who thinks they are on deaths door with a little sniffles.

Opening weekend!

Another morning after a long night. It was late again. I woke up naturally at my usual time. I got myself some water and just sat, waking up. I remembered last afternoon and I must admit, I got hard. That does not happen that easily. Master and I got quite busy yesterday afternoon on the sofa. He likes me to play with his nipples and just kiss and work my tongue over his chest. I like to be just together like that, it is a different kind of intimacy. He was playing with my ass and my plug and I got quite horny. I was working my way down when we had to stop as we had to leave to go to the club. Great! Funnily enough we were both taking our time to get dressed for the club. Master put the coat cuffs on me for the journey. It was the first time we had used them since Master broke his hand. He is all ok now. The bus driver was looking at us funny as Master had to show him both our passes. We had forgotten to take it out before, and Master had to go through my pockets to find it. I found it very funny. We have a lovely cloak room at the club, we even provide an area to get changed and lockers to leave your stuff. I think Master felt he has betrayed Master Arne and his legacy, but he could not help the old building being pulled down! I think the premises are custom designed and with the input of the members, so we are actually making sure the legacy lives on. We were there early and the staff were just setting up. They were re-organising the bar. Luckily they are alright with where the till is and some other bigger items, but they had realised on a busy night the layout had not worked. People had booked and we were expecting even more people! We kind of have a limit on numbers of people we can have inside, for fire reasons, it was difficult to control that. People did go out for just some fresh air or to smoke, so keeping track is difficult.

Our dance troupe put on a show, they have started to meet regularly and have had some advice from Kristoffers girl friend. They did a little sketch about us owners. I was a little surprised that they actually knew that I am a part owner. Maybe we did put it out there, maybe they just put me in as I am Master Owe's slave. It was busy until closing time. I helped out again at the bar, I quite enjoy this work. It is a different atmosphere behind the bar. About midnight it got quieter at the bar and I joined the crowd. We closed at 1am, Master wanted to stay and help clear up. He had not looked forward to going, but seems he had enjoyed the night. I cannot remember that I went to the office where I apparently was nearly asleep. Master got me and we took a taxi home. In the taxi I told him how much I loved him and loved my life in Stockholm and how happy I was. And I was not even drunk! I guess I was over tired and my brain was not working properly. Master told me to be quiet. I went straight to bed. I embarrassed Master this morning, this very early morning. I am not looking forward to seeing him this morning.

I got busy yesterday and did not write my diary. I went to bed early, I had to catch up with some sleep. We had a lovely day. I went back to bed after yoga and writing my diary and must have dozed off again. Master came to find me. I felt embarrassed about last night, but he assured me it is ok. We had a shower together and he even gave me a blow job! I managed to get erect quite quickly and after some hesitation (I just feel not right seeing Master kneel in front of me) I was able to enjoy it and came. We had breakfast and then Master suggested some fresh air. It was cloudy, but if you put enough clothes on it is ok. He suggested getting Django, which I – of course- seconded. S/T were actually glad we came by, they were decorating and Django was in the way, so we agreed to have him all day. We do have dog food and bowls etc as he sometimes stays for longer. We wanted a hot chocolate but the kiosk was closed. So we went to our restaurant, one can sit outside, they have heaters and blankets. We had a tea. A couple came with what must have been one of them's elderly father in a wheel chair. It kind of made me think that my father will never get that old, and maybe that is better. I kind of miss him. Knowing that I will never have the chance to make up with him, or even just talk. I am glad that Ruth and I have opened the channel of communication, but there is still A LOT we need to resolve. My brother Mark has been in touch, we sometimes e-mail. I mentioned it to Owe, his father's birthday is very soon. I do not want him to make the same mistake, no that's wrong. It was not my choice. Anyway, Django was snarling at another dog, and we decided to leave. We had to walk past the other dog closer, and Django went for him. Luckily Owe was holding him. He dragged him away and then I told Django off. He did not notice me. Usually you get a reaction from a dog. On the way home he nearly got into another fight. I was able to stop it quickly. It was so unlike him! Owe commented how well I handled it. Did I? I guess I am used to dogs fighting, the Huskies could be a bit tetchy. One has to intervene immediately.

We came home and Django seemed ok again, he drank a lot. I can be tetchy when I do not drink enough, maybe it was that? As we had breakfasted quite late, we decided to have a snack and I would cook later. Master made us a lovely fruit smoothie. I played with Django outside, get rid of some of his energy. Master called me in for some food. Django laid down and promptly went to sleep. I could have done the same, I think, but I rather wanted to go to bed early. We were reading the paper and I got my books out. It was hard to keep my eyes open. I do not think any studying went into my brain. I had not realised how dark it was getting. Master switched the lights on and went to the toilet, and Django got up and indicated he needed to go as well. Master offered to take him out. He asked me to stay and get dinner on and make some coffee.

I was very surprised to hear the door bell, but thought Owe had forgotten his key. Well, it was his father in front of the door! Owe came back shortly afterwards, he was not too pleased about a surprise visitor. His father had a last minute business trip and flown in that morning. Of course Owe did not turn him away, but the first 10 minutes or so were a bit awkward. I continued with my preparations for dinner while they talked. I managed to communicate to Owe if I should cook for his father as well. We had a good time. Owe's father left after the meal. It had been the first time he had been to the house. I had a chance to talk to him on his own, I asked if he knew about everything. He said yes, he had even met Arne a few times. Arne was his age, so of course it had been quite disturbing to know about their relationship. Owe's father accepts us, but …

We took Django home after his father left, and then we had a lovely bubble bath. We often like to go and lie in Owe's bed after a bath, just being together. I nearly fell asleep so went to bed. Owe stayed up only a little longer to clear the fire and lock up.

Opening Night!

It is Saturday morning. I am up early as usual. We only got home just after 1am, but I guess I am in my rhythm. I have done yoga in my room, it is a bit cramped, but at least it is warm. It takes quite some time to heat up the living room, so I told Master I will stay in my room to save on heating costs. Although our solar panels save us quite a bit, now in winter they do not produce as much electricity, and we need a lot for the heating. We have another busy day ahead of us, and another opening night! Last night was very good, it was very busy! I helped with washing glasses and stocking up. People liked the new club. Some people were dancing. Kristoffers girlfriends dance troupe did a little show, luckily they had been able to practice on our little stage. It is quite small. I had fun. Master had to talk to a lot of people, a lot of older members came.

Master woke himself, he was under the shower when I came out. I made breakfast and then we tidied up together. I went shopping in town while Master was at the gym and sauna. We had lunch in town. We are having a rest at home now before going to the club again for opening. Per had phoned us and thanked me for getting the flat ready. They will be coming tonight. Oh, Master wants me to join him on the sofa!

Musings about life - again

Master and I went to the gym, he stayed on for the sauna and I went to stock up P/L's flat and give it a clean. They are back today. I did not go upstairs. Master is feeling a bit down, he thinks he might be getting a cold. I have taken extra vitamins this year and actually, have felt really good. So he thinks having a steam will help get rid of the cold. Master had the meeting, he said it went fine and he feels it is all falling into place. He has now been enrolled onto the course and will be busy studying himself.

We had a good lunch later in the day. I am looking forward to tonight, it will be a proper opening party with professional music and even press! Martin worked hard to make it happen, but then he was able to rely on his wife's expertise as well. I would like a quiet weekend with Master here at the house, we kind of have not reclaimed it yet. I feel at home here, but I am slightly confused still. I feel we have to establish a routine again. Everything is up in the air again. We kind of had a goal, which was getting the club ready, What now? Ok, Master kind of knows that he will start working at the University, I think they are planning for May. Ruth is coming in April. Otherwise everything is kind of in the air. It has been the last year, while Master has not worked. I need to find something else for me to do. Master is very good at keeping my anxiety under control, but I always have this restlessness deep inside me. It only calms down when I am deep in a scene. Or during/after good sex. I think most people feel like that, what is my purpose in life? Yes, my purpose in life is to look after Master, but there must be something else as well.

For me, life is normal...

This morning Master had an appointment with the accountant and Mr Allender. They decided on instructing a company to paint the town house. I had school and yoga. Last night Master contacted me to bring him some food to the club. Of course I brought some more, luckily I found something suitable in the freezer. The area around the club is not very well serviced with places to eat.

The bar looked very professional with all the bottles displayed, mirrors and lighting. All the staff have been on a bartender course and we are offering more cocktails. I like a cocktail from time to time. We now have a proper sound system and a dance floor. The outside still looks very messy, well, due to the weather we have not been able to landscape properly. There is a parking lot, which has been well used. As it was invite only, we had control of numbers. Despite that there was confusion behind the bar. I did not stay that long as I had to go to school today. Master stayed until closing, I think. I left him breakfast out this morning, but did not wake him. I called him during a break at school to make sure he was ready for his appointment. He appreciated that. I had lunch and did some homework at the library before going to yoga. I had a hot drink with the girls. Master was at home when I came home. He was a bit tired, but had decided to cook dinner. I was able to do my homework. I like to get on with it, or at least get a start. I would have liked some bondage, but I think Master was not in the right head space. He has a meeting at the University tomorrow, he has asked for it. He is still nervous about it all. We have the official opening at the weekend and we will be busy.

Wednesday - routine

This morning we had our usual routine. We have not had that regularly as we have been busy with stuff. Yes, we had sex on Sunday, but as I had shared a bed with Master, it was different. We both enjoyed being back to our routine and defining our positions. We showered together and then had breakfast. It was getting light and the birds had found the seeds I had put out. It is nice to be able to look onto a garden instead of at other houses and roofs. We went to the flat and tidied up there and collected the last bits. It was a bit strange doing it on public transport. The car was picked up yesterday, they inspected it and everything looked ok, but we might still get a bill. Although we cannot remember putting a dent or scratch into it. We had lunch at home, then Master went to the club. There is a soft opening tonight, with invited members as guests. I will go later, but I really had to do my homework, and I have extra work from Ingrid as well.

having fun with life

I have received the money for the club. Master has organised it to be invested for me. I think he feels much better to have repaid me. But mine is his. Apparently, even though we are married, we have separate assets, something to do with tax. It pays to pay an accountant and his expertise. School was hard, I was not as prepared. I was busy with other stuff. I had lunch at the library and did some studying. Then I went to yoga and to the Centre. It was good to spend time with my friends there. We have so much going on. It was good to take a day out and just do regular stuff. It was good to see Master. He gave me a good session yesterday. It was unnerving to sit and see the sleep sack. I could not wait. It has been a very long time, and Master knew exactly he was not teasing me with it. It was torture. But it was also fun. If someone would have told me, even when I was at College, I would one day long to be squeezed into a sleep sack and just left alone to enjoy the tightness and the feeling of security it gives me. I guess it mimics the feeling of being back in a womb. My mother used to wrap Lizzie tightly into a blanket to get her to sleep, and she was calm and out like a light. Apparently I liked it too.

It is great that Master seems to enjoy putting me into a sleep sack, and then either playing with me or just leaving me and keep an eye on me. Usually, and last night, it took me a while to “come back down to earth”. Usually Master does it slowly, guiding me back. It takes expertise to do that, a trust, knowledge between the partners.

Settling back in

It was nice to have breakfast at our table again. I woke up this morning and was a little confused where I was. In 3 nights I have slept in 3 different beds. We went to the site. Wow, it has changed! And it looks so good. The staff will be in tomorrow and start setting up. The foreman was there to hand the building over. Kristoffer and his girlfriend were there as well, to get instruction on the alarm system and the fire panel. They will move in today and tomorrow, although the flat still needs some work. But they have given notice at their flat.

We had the sign go up. We had our photo taken in front of it, we have put it on the website. I was reluctant to be included in the photo, but Master and Martin insisted.

I wanted to go to the flat to fetch the rest of our stuff and clean, Master said it has time. He did not want to mess up the car. Someone from the dealership is to come tomorrow to pick it up. We really did not use it enough. It was great to have it, it was a great help when I did my driving licence. I cannot believe, it has been a year since we got the car.

I feel so at home here, I am so comfortable with Master Owe. It has been such a short time only, really. But we have packed quite some experiences into this time.

I am cooking us a nice meal tonight, it is nice to be back in this kitchen. Master is preparing a fire. I am getting some time in my sleepsack later, it is already laid out in front of the fire!

A new beginning? As if we need one!

Well, this is it then. We have moved to the house. I have been a bit sore this afternoon. The lift had decided to give up for the last trip, so I carried the box down four floors. It was not heavy, but combined with the carrying of yesterday, I was feeling a bit funny when we were here. I thought I would be sick, but it was ok. I put a bag on, just in case. And I feel too sore to do it manually later today. I had a rest on my cot. Master came to see me with some peppermint tea. It was mint from the garden, it works immediately. He sat down with me. Funny, to think he used to live in this room.

Last night we decided to go out for dinner. It felt too cold in the flat. We have a nice Italian place, a real neighborhood place. I had some ravioli. I only had some water with my meal. It was a quiet evening. We shared a dessert. I think we did not want to go back to the empty flat. Finally we were not able to drag it out any longer. Master invited me to sleep in his bed. It made sense. We just went to sleep. Well, he read for a while. It was nice to lay there and snooze, while he was next to me, turning the pages. I slept surprisingly well. I got up early as usual and did yoga and stretched. Then I came back to bed. As I had cold feet, I kept to my side. Master came over and hugged me. We laid like that for a while. Finally he was awake enough and we had sex. I hope he enjoyed it as much as I did.

Master cleaned the car today. We had the back seat flipped over, so it made sense to give it a clean out now. The car goes back on Tuesday.

We had unpacked as we got stuff here, so it was only a little to do today. Master did the cooking, we only had something from the freezer. I spent some time going through every room, I kind of had to feel the energy and send vibes out. I stopped in front of the door to the basement, I kind of wanted to go down there and give the area some love. But I did not feel strong enough.

It is nice to be back here. I am sitting on the floor, on my lovely rug, underfloor heating!

Moving day

So today was spent packing and driving back and forth to the house. It was easier to take things like shirts just on the hangers. As we are definitely moving out this time, we are packing everything again. We will still have to move stuff tomorrow, how did we accumulate so much stuff here again?

We are planning to get a takeaway for dinner. Most of the food is already gone. We just have stuff for breakfast here.

Sitting here now, with most of the stuff that I brought to make it look more homely gone again, I feel very strange. Being in limbo like this, it unhinges me. I know it is only today really, tomorrow we will be at the house and then after. I managed not to think about it during the day. I think Master finds it difficult as well, finally giving up the flat. He has lived here for such a long time.

Just another day

Master was quite sore yesterday, he had his tattoo finished yesterday. He did not even want to cuddle. (Well, usually I sit on that side, and being on the other side was uncomfortable as we are not used to it). It looks very good though. He had Torben with him this time, and he was inspired to get a tattoo himself. Stine was not very happy. She phoned us and told Master off.

Today we went to the gym and then Master went to the site. I went home for lunch and then to yoga. I collected some boxes every way. I started putting kitchen stuff into boxes. We have run down our food we have here.

The club is basically finished, the decorators will have to work at the weekend and then we have the hand over Monday morning. The flat upstairs still needs some work and the outside. It seemed to go on for a long time, and now it is suddenly done! I cannot wait to see it on Monday!

Just a normal day

I came home and Master and the staff had cleared the office! Funnily, it made the office look scruffy. I tidied up, but Master stopped me. At least I had collected the scraps of paper, and Master vaccumed.

I had not slept very well, I am glad I did not stay in the cage. I had rather confusing dreams.

School was hard, I had lunch with some school mates. We were all moaning about the work load. But I am glad that it is tough. How do my old class mates manage? Or does my teacher stretch us as we all want to be stretched? I went to yoga and had the obligatory drink with the girls. I had a lovely hot chocolate.

In the evening I wanted to start packing, but Master stopped me. He said he had been involved with that all day, he wanted a quiet evening. So we just watched tv, like a vanilla couple.

making more plans

I did not enjoy doing yoga this morning, I could not relax. I just did not feel at home or settled here. It got better during the day. I went to the shop for some fresh vegetables. I went to the gym. I had a good, hard session. I showered at home.

Master was at the site, apparently it is very busy there, but it is coming together. He came home for lunch, although it was a bit later than we usually eat. He had a rest, reading, and then went to the gym. I had to do homework. Ingrid came by for a surprise visit, and I made use of her expertise. She stayed for fika, we had some cake left over. Over dinner we discussed our living arrangements more. We decided to make nails with heads. Owe is always like this, when he has made a decision, he wants to get on with it. So we decided to move at the weekend. The lease on the car is up next week, so to utilise it, we have to move this weekend! Owe wants to get a long term tenant. Maybe do some building work here. Like knock the wall to the kitchen down, change the 2^nd bedroom back to a normal bedroom. But he is not in a hurry.

We had a short session in the playroom, we both could not really get into it. Despite that, I enjoyed it. Master was experimenting a little, he gave up. Still, I liked to watch him and go along with it. I was pleased I was there for him. We have not that much gear here, so we are a bit limited. Which can be an interesting challenge.

As we were in the playroom, we started to pack stuff together. We had originally brought everything to the house when we moved last year, and then this winter some stuff worked it's way back. Master asked if I want to sleep in the cage, but I thought I'd rather not, as I have to get up earlier.

What will happen?

I had my usual Tuesday, and I kept busy to stop myself thinking too much. Yesterday Master and I were both reading, he fancied one of my books. He wanted me to sit on the sofa with him, and finally we both put our books away and were kissing and getting it on. I guess the darkness brings people together, I wonder if the birthrate is higher than usual in November and December. Well, we were enjoying ourselves when I suddenly had the image from the security footage in my mind. When our tenants got it on on the sofa in full rubber doll outfits. Sadly, I was soo put off. I told Master and he went flaccid as well. We both got up and did something else. Master brought up the topic, we had decided to stay at the flat a shorter period really, but then with him breaking his hand etc it was easier being here. He asked me when we should move back to the house. Or did I want to be here? What are we going to do with the flat once we move back to the house? I told him I need time to process it. It has been quite full on for me as well the last week or so.

Today I had some time at the Centre to think it over. I enjoyed being at the flat, but it was not home. I have very fond memories, I am glad that we mainly lived at the flat when I first moved here, but now we belong in the house. We have invested in it, made it our own. I told Master on the way home from meditation about my decision. He admitted he has thought about it all day as well, and feels like me. That is as far as we have come. We do not want to think about the rest of the future.

Master had another session at the tattoo studio today. He had Sven with him as support.

It is cold in Stockholm

It is so cold and dark here at the moment! We are a bit further north here than South River, Master and I checked it on the Internet today. We checked what the weather in Teneriffe is like, I envy P/L. As Stockholm is on the water, it gets quite windy and cold. Sweden goes so much further North, I wonder what it is like up there! Master has never been much further north either. Master had to go to the site, they are planning to be finished by end of the week. I decided I want to see it finished.

I went to the library today and got myself some books. This gloomy weather just makes you want to curl up and read. And eat cake and chocolate. Master suggested it would be nice to give some cake to the builders, they are working so hard. I have baked this afternoon. He can take them tomorrow. He has been to the house as well today. We had the car there and he fetched it.