Owe has his last
day at work today. I woke him up and we had breakfast together. It
took me a while to go to sleep yesterday, I was tossing. My mind just
did not settle, but I could not think clearly. I tried meditation
techniques, that did not work either. Finally I took some pain
medication, that helped me sleep. I had to clean myself. I sat with
mum while she had breakfast. She wanted to go into town by herself,
just walk and experience it. I went to the gym and went to the Center
for lunch, then Sabine and I came to yoga. We went for a drink
afterwards. I felt I needed some space from mum. Yesterday and the
day before we talked so much, and I have to re-think a few things.
Sabine noticed I was on edge and was able to convince me to not force
it. Just let my memories and impressions of this week settle and deal
with it later. I am trying!
Mum was at home
when I came back, she had started to pack. I joined her. We agreed
that it was time for her to go home, we both have to digest
everything. She said she has learned things about herself. That she
can be an independent woman. That she still has a life of her own.
She is not only a widow and grandmother, she is Ruth. Wow. She wants
to hold a memorial service for Dad on his anniversary. She would like
me to be there. I have to think about that. For one, it is very far
to travel. Owe will be working. It is in August, so holiday season.
Usually the doctors with children have priority for holidays then.
And we are expecting BandE in September. Owe came home, he found Mum
and me lying on the bed, reminiscing – again. He said later to me
we looked so comfortable together. He was happy for us. It must have
been hard for him, he lost his mum so early. And he is so estranged
from his father. We went to the pizza place for dinner and had some
wine. Mum mentioned she would like us to come in August. Owe was
quite positive about it. But we will have to see.
I am nervous about
tomorrow. Mum said she will take a taxi to the airport, she does not
want a long goodbye. Maybe it is better.
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