Enjoying time with mum

We had a quiet day at home today. It was nice and sunny and we sat in the garden. Mum asked me about the rings in the post in the living room. We did not go into detail. We took Django out for a walk. I went to the gym in the morning. That was hard work! I came back for lunch, Mum had been shopping and cooked! That was great, just like old times. Just that we missed Lizzie. I gave yoga a miss. We talked a bit. About a lot of different things. About the past, and mainly about the future. Now that we have made up, I am really sad that we are so far apart. She was astounded that I have limited access to the internet. I guess she finds Master Owe controls me too much. She does not understand that it is my choice. I want to be controlled. Yes, I notice I behave different when I am around “normal” people, friends. When I am on my own with them. When I am with Owe, I defer to him much more. Some people find that difficult to deal with. To see me being submissive. If I was a woman they would say I am under his thumb, that he oppresses me and that women fought for my liberation as well. As a man, a gay man, it is different. I find it is accepted easier. Especially by people who are aware of kink and Master and slave. Quite a few years ago a woman in the USA published a guide to being a submissive woman, 50's style. Of course it caused uproar, but a lot of women embraced it. As a submissive I do have a voice. It takes a strong person to be submissive. Of course it can get/be abusive. Not for us. We talk. We usually do not plan scenes, but we talk afterwards. I can always stop it if Master is too hard. We have learned the hard way. I guess Mum and I have learned the hard way this last week. It seems I have put my own interpretation on some of my memories. Mum set me straight on some of it. Today we talked about my leaving, again. How Dad reacted. How she thinks he dealt with it. Outwardly he was harsh, forgot about me, erased me from their lives. She thinks he took it much worse, he did not know how to deal with it and blocking it out was his way to do so. At first it caused a huge strain, and after Lizzie died Mum was on a lot of medication. They never talked, it seems. She did not have the opportunity to talk. Until we reached out through Father Morris. She talked to him. I am sorry I did not make much more effort to set things straight, with my father as well. In hindsight, I should have battled on. Was I up to it? I do not know. I would have to ask Barbara. I guess it will take me some time after Mum leaves on Saturday to still digest.

Owe came home after work. We had some light dinner, he had eaten at the hospital, and then we took Mum to see the club. She had expressed a wish to see it, and tonight was a “normal” bar night.

Martin was on shift. We showed her around, except the private room and told her about the plans for outside. Punters were dressed in some gear, but it was a normal bar, I think. We stayed for one drink and then she wanted to go. She had seen it. The train journey home was quiet. I am going to bed, I have a slight headache.